


Anything for a T'hy'la

by josiechambers3



Series: Spork One-Shot Collection [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, T'hy'la
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7888462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiechambers3/pseuds/josiechambers3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite his amazing luck and his disbelief in no-win scenarios, Kirk can't win them all. Spock helps him deal with that fact.</p><p>*</p><p>I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything for a T'hy'la

**Author's Note:**

> This one will be longer. And more angsty. A LOT more angsty. And depressing. And a lot of other things like that. Hehehehehe >:D  
> (P.S. Shit title. Whatever. dEAL WITH IT.)

The entire crew watched the planet with horror.

It was about to be destroyed.

And what made it worse was that somehow, located on the small dwarf planet was an orphanage filled with children of many different species, alien and human alike.

"We have to try and save them, captain!" Sulu snapped out of his state of shock. He radioed Chekov. "Pavel, can you beam them up? Any of them at all?!"

His response came through the comms, garbled because of both his accent and static. "—cannot—reading—mowing too fast—"

Uhura fiddled with several knobs and switches. "All I'm hearing is static!"

"The magnetic pull of the dwarf planet is managing to somehow interfere with our communications," Spock stated, flicking a few switches here and there on the panel in front of him. "We must get away from the planet or we risk other issues as well."

The entire time his crew was talking frantically, Kirk was sitting there, eyes wide, frozen in shock. But Spock's words made him jump out of it. "No!" he shouted. "We have to do what we can to save those children!" He looked pleadingly at his crew. "They're just children! We can't abandon them!"

"—getting some—zere's a—" Chekov said from the radio. "I'll—Sco—"

"With the speed the planet is orbiting and the gravity pulling us towards the planet, we can't keep up for long, sir," Sulu stated worriedly. "Soon enough it'll overtake us. And if we go up a gear, we will overtake it."

"I—don't—care!" Kirk shouted. "Keep up with it! Do what it takes!"

"But sir—" Sulu began, but Kirk was already turning to others on the bridge.

"And you!" Kirk turned on Spock angrily. "How could you say that! You—of all people, you should know why—"

Spock indeed knew why.

Neither Kirk nor Spock had ever expressed much interest in having a child or even settling down someday. They weren't really the fathering type, and they both knew it. In addition, having a child while simultaneously being a part of Starfleet and being constantly on a starship was difficult. Usually it resulted badly for any parents and children involved.

They had discovered a tiny dwarf planet while flying in space one day (if nearly ramming into it at warp speed counted as "discovering" it), and noticed it was deviating greatly from its orbit, alongside other signs that the planet was going to destruct.

What made it worse was that, upon scanning the planet, the computers discovered signs of life on the planet. Loads of them.

Most of them were children.

Spock and Kirk immediately beamed down to the planet alongside several others, including Bones.

It turned out that there was, somehow, an orphanage on the small planet. Other than that, the planet had been abandoned not long ago by the other species on the planet. The orphans and the director of the orphanage had not been taken with because there was a breakout of Andorian shingles there, a highly infectious disease.

Bones had of course asked for them to be taken to the rooms where all of the sick children were (after his initial attempt to run, of course). The orphan director had complied.

And there, in the sick bay, they saw her.

She was barely conscious, but Kirk and Spock could tell by the pointy ears and the dark hair (despite it not being in a traditional cut) that she was a Vulcan. She woke up a bit while they were there, and in her fevered state, mistook them for her parents coming back to take her home.

And there was something about her that neither of them could shake off.

After speaking with the director about it, Spock and Kirk ascertained that she was half-Vulcan and half-human, just like Spock.

The small team beamed back up to the ship to prep a quarantine area for all of the children and to prepare enough hypos with the cure.

Neither Spock nor Kirk could stop thinking about the girl, but neither would admit it, either. Perhaps it was because she was the only known other like Spock. Perhaps it was that somber, serious look on her face despite being half-human and growing up away from the Vulcan tradition of emotionlessness. Neither really knew for sure. But they couldn't stop thinking of her.

They began prepping to beam down another team and round up the children to beam up to the ship.

And that was when the planet had started to speed up in orbit and showed other telltale signs of preparing to explode, thus ensuring that the entire crew became frantic to get the orphans off of it and onto the ship.

Spock carefully worded his next few sentences to his captain. "Captain, I know better than anyone why. But you must consider the facts." He looked Kirk carefully in the eye. "The planet is traveling too fast for us to beam them up, and even if we could, you know that many of the children have contracted a dangerous strain of the Andorian shingles. The quarantine area has not yet been prepared, so even if we could beam them up, we would run the risk of the crew contracting the strain as well, and we cannot have that."

"No!" Kirk shouted. "I don't care! We have Bones! We have the cure onboard! We're on our way to New Vulcan! We'll find a hospital!" He looked wildly at the rest of his crew. "Just get those kids up and out of there!"

Spock looked at Kirk. He didn't want to do this...it pained him, hard as it was to admit, but he had to do this.

"Captain Kirk," Spock said carefully. "You are emotionally compromised."

The entire bridge fell silent.

"I would like to remove you from the position as captain, and I myself will take your place."

Various things happened at once. Kirk let out a yell of outrage and leapt for Spock, Sulu and Uhura jumped up to hold Kirk back, Spock backed away easily.

"You—you're a monster!" Kirk yelled at him. "A twisted, unfeeling monster! You—"

Spock looked at his frantic, struggling captain and strode over to him in a few long strides. He looked Kirk in the eye. "You know more than anyone that I feel, just as you humans do." He placed his hands on Kirk's shoulders, and when he did that, he allowed his and Kirk's minds to meet for a moment, allowing Kirk to see the fear and indecision and worry that was racing through his head, allowing Kirk to see that Spock's thoughts were running in circles with him constantly trying to find a way for everyone to come out of this alive and unharmed, but he had nothing. The great, ever-intelligent Spock had nothing. And there was nothing else that could make Spock hate himself more.

"We cannot save them."

Kirk fell silent. He stopped fighting, his head falling forward. His eyes looked blankly at the ground. The will to fight had left him, and all he did now was struggle to fight back frustrated, helpless tears.

Spock took his seat in the captain's chair.

"Captain!" came a squawk from the comms system, now even fuzzier and noise-filled, for some reason. "We're not—bloody thing—work—"

Spock's eyebrow quirked up slightly in minor confusion. That was Scotty. Chekov must have called him in to help try and beam the children up.

"Mr. Sulu," he commanded, hoping that meant they had succeeded in beaming up at least a few children, "pilot the Enterprise away from the planet." He didn't want to this, but this was the most logical choice. This was the only way to minimize the loss of life.

Sulu swallowed hard, but nodded and took his seat, doing as he was told.

"Nooo!" Kirk roared in a last-ditch effort, breaking away from Uhura and leaping for Sulu, but the deed was done.

They flew away from the planet, and as they watched, the planet imploded slightly, then exploded in a bright flash, becoming tiny pieces of rock and debris once more.

Kirk let out a frustrated yell. He dropped soundlessly to the floor.

Spock immediately leaped out of the chair. "Uhura, please contact Scotty and Chekov," he instructed, then hurried towards Kirk. He bent down and paused, then put a hesitant hand on Kirk's arm. "Captain, I believe—"

"I'm not the captain anymore."

Kirk's voice was dull, defeated...angry. He pushed himself up and staggered into a standing position. "You made damn sure of that!" He glared at Spock, eyes exhausted but accusing. "I hate you." The words weren't yelled, but they came out as sharply and steadily as they ever could and ever would.

Kirk ran out of the bridge.

The second he was gone, Uhura turned to Spock wearily. "Sp—Captain." Her voice was somber and worn. "Chekov and Scotty contacted me. The communications lines are back up."

"What did they say?" Spock asked, trying to remain cool and collected, but his words still came out a bit sharp.

Spock barely waited for Uhura to answer before he hurriedly strode off to find his captain.

\---

"If you did not want to be found, you would not have gone to the first place I would check," Spock said calmly to Kirk, who didn't acknowledge him, still staring out the window of the observation deck at the debris everywhere. "Which leads me to the conclusion that you did, indeed, want to be found."

Kirk was sitting on the floor of the observation deck with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, staring blankly out the window. He lowered his head and placed it on his arms.

Kirk mumbled something unintelligible into his elbow.

Spock barely arched an eyebrow. "Could you repeat that, please?"

"...I'm sorry," Kirk mumbled quietly. "I know you have emotions, too. I don't hate you."

"I know."

Spock sat down next to Kirk on the floor, and they sat there in silence.

"I am sorry as well," Spock finally broke the silence. "I had to do what was best for the rest of the crew." He paused. "You are reinstated as captain once again, if you wish."

Kirk nodded silently.

Spock wordlessly sat down beside Kirk, unsure of how to inform him of the rest of the news. "Jim. Communications have been reestablished."

"And?" Kirk asked, his voice a mere echo of what it usually was. He looked up, eyes dull. He was trying to hold back tears, but he seemed to be fighting a losing battle. "What did Chekov say?" He couldn't afford to be hopeful. And yet...Chekov...he was...had he managed to...? "Did they...," he began slowly. "Did they succeed? Did they get the children onboard?" He paused. "Is she safe?"

Both of them knew exactly who "she" was.

Spock was silent for a few moments, a few, agonizing moments. Then, he responded.

"Yes." He paused. "...And no."

Kirk frowned. "Elaborate."

"Just before the planet blew, Chekov and Scotty managed to beam up a few of the children," Spock said. He saw the way his captain brightened a little, hopeful, and quickly continued so that fragile hope didn't have time to grow. The more it grew, the harder it would be for Kirk. "Only six were beamed up successfully. The half-Vulcan girl...was not one of those six."

Spock watched his captain's face slowly fall, now even more distraught, if that was at all possible.

"Logically, we should not have even managed to beam up those six," Spock inputted before Kirk could start to cry or become inebriated in his grief in any other way, shape, or form. "It may be what you humans refer to as a miracle that we succeeded in rescuing those six—although we Vulcans do not believe in such things.

"With all factors added in, there was only a two-point-seven chance of us saving them all," Spock told Kirk. "The odds were against you. You cannot blame yourself for not achieving that which is a statistical improbability."

Kirk let out a choked half-laugh, half-sob. "Is that your lame-ass attempt of trying to comfort me?"

Spock paused a bit, mildly embarrassed. "...I suppose so, capt—Jim." Spock looked solemnly into Kirk's watery blue eyes.

Kirk began to laugh at Spock's awkward yet genuine attempt. Somewhere along the line, that laughter became hysterical, and the next thing Kirk knew, he was crying, sobbing like he never thought he would—especially not in front of Spock, of all people.

Kirk found himself irrationally feeling like he had to explain to his first officer why he was crying. "I'm sorry, I just—" he hiccuped. "I don't like seeing any lives wasted, and when I could've done something—if I had just done something, if—if I—"

Spock then did a very un-Spock-like thing (or maybe it was a very Spock-like thing; after all, he was aware of what comforted humans most, having been around them so much, so perhaps that is the logical reasoning behind his illogical actions). He gently guided Kirk to where Kirk was crying on his shoulder, cheeks tinged slightly green in embarrassment. "You do not have to justify yourself," he said softly.

Something about Spock being so uncharacteristically soft and comforting, and all for Kirk himself, made Kirk just...break down. Maybe it was the stress of being captain and having so many lives in his hands, maybe it was losing all of those innocent children, maybe it was Spock's awkward attempt at going out of his comfort zone—and all for Kirk, maybe it was the reassurance he could feel coming from Spock and gently settling in him, maybe it was....

Kirk had no idea how long the two of them sat there (Spock did, though—fifteen point two minutes) until he sat up, sniffing, and tried (and failed) to wipe the tears off of his face.

Spock quickly intercepted his hand and gently wiped the tears off of Kirk's face instead. He would doubtless change immediately after this, so a bit more tears on his uniform didn't really matter all that much.

"Thanks," Kirk said quietly. He disentangled himself from Spock and slid off of Spock's lap (honestly, neither of them were quite sure when or how that had happened, but it had).

Spock stood and turned to offer his hand to his captain.

Kirk accepted the hand.

As their hands met, they could each feel each other's mutual gratitude, understanding, and love for each other. It wasn't necessarily a romantic love (not yet, at least), but they loved each other. They were connected in an way that only they could be connected.

"We should probably get back to the bridge," Kirk said as he stood. He began to walk to the exit.

"I must object, Jim," Spock said. He looked at Kirk. "Go get some rest. I can manage this for you. It is no bother to me."

Kirk felt like he should object, but he found he was just too tired to. He nodded wearily. "Thank you, Spock." He paused. "I'm lucky to have you."

"...And I you, I suppose," Spock replied. "Although—"

"Yeah, yeah," Kirk laughed slightly. "Vulcans don't believe in luck." He paused. "Well, I do. And I don't know what I would do without you."

Spock nodded. "I request that you hurry to your quarters to rest, sir. I can see you there if you like. That is no problem either."

I love you, Spock.

Kirk could have said it then and there. If he had, he would've meant it. It went deeper than friendship, deeper than romance, deeper than even family. It ran in his blood and sang when he was with Spock.

But he didn't say it. He didn't need to. He had the feeling that Spock knew already and felt the same.

"There's no need for that, Spock," Kirk said instead. "Thanks for offering, though. You'd better get to the bridge instead, though."

Spock nodded. "As you wish." But he made no move to leave, as he fully intended to wait until Kirk was well on his way to his quarters. And Kirk knew that.

Kirk turned to leave. At the door, he paused and turned back. "Thank you, Spock. For everything." Not just for this. For saving his life countless times, for the chess games, for being a dependable first mate, for being a dependable friend. For everything.

Spock nodded and watched Kirk leave. He would do anything for Jim. Anything and everything. Spock had come to terms with it, preferring that to the alternative of possibly losing Jim ever again. His infuriating captain probably knew that. There was no need for Spock to be thanked and every need for him to thank the other.

So, when Kirk was gone, he whispered softly to the now-empty observation deck and to the man that had just vacated it, "I thank thee, t'hy'la."

**Author's Note:**

> Nice and sad for ya. You're welcome. But the ending's a bit sweet, at least! (I had an alternate happy ending for this, but...I dunno. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't where I wanted it to go, so I scrapped it and rewrote it all. I could post it if you want though, I guess.... :/)  
> Annnd of course autocorrect chooses the worst time to screw up on me, and I find a sock comforting Kirk in the saddest part of this story instead of Spock.... -_-' Someday I'll actually turn autocorrect off...but that day is not today. Alas, I am too lazy. :P bleah  
> I think I made them too OOC again...I've really gotta read more fics and watch more Star Trek (and probs rewatch the reboots a thousand-and-one times like the trash I am xD) so I can characterize them better and more accurately.... -_-'  
> I hope you enjoyed!!! :3 Stay tuned for next time!  
> (Looking back on it, I really don't like this one so much. They're very OOC...and I don't like it much...but Imma post it anyways cuz it's just gathering dust anyway. -_-)


End file.
